I called My Ex!

Alone in the house and i am usually airtime phobic. I just cannot stand my phone having a little airtime, better off when Safaricom disqualifies me from their ‘okoa jahazi’ because i could not repay within the stipulated time.

Here he is (me) scrolling through my phonebook without any major reason. Comes across a familiar name, yeah, a girl. As if the other names were not familiar right from letters A through to …almost near Z. Dials the name and she calls me ‘dear’ on connection.

I disconnect the call, think for a second and call again. This time the she is busy. Still in my ear, my phone suddenly rings with a loud ringtone. I curse the caller on to realize she called back. ‘Mbona unaniflash?’ she asked furiously. Aah No! i din’t flash you but i accidentally dialled your number, sorry. There i was trying to defend myself, fool!

“Sema lakini’ i continued. She paused for a few seconds and disconnected the line. I called back.

Hey, don’t get pissed off with me. Merry Christmas! I don’t celebrate Christmas, she said.  Ok. to hell. That reminds me, do i still celebrate you Christmas? You will come along on a Sunday, and that day, God knows how i love sleeping. I will go to church later but that is after i have found a ‘good bible based church’ Joel Osteen says so.

I remember the last time i attended church (on live TV) another pastor told me to plant a seed, i did that last week upcountry (a muembe seed). The good thing with this seed is that it doesn’t need fertilizer, it will just grow. If my Pastor or Father was Joel Osteen, assistant Pastor Masinde and Cathy Kiuna, maybe i could have been such a holy boy.

Talking of Christmas. i saw some pictures sold by hawkers showing baby Jesus dressed in a bling and shaved mo-hawlk. I can’t tell how they came up with that but i bet the artist thinks Jesus ni Moi/Kibaki atachekea those pictures like ‘Redcorner’ or ‘XYZ’.



About Demcel

I am a professional creative writer, i flock with great thinkers!

Posted on December 19, 2011, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.

  1. Am in stitches bro…great

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