Monthly Archives: February 2012
Kenyans were last weekend voted the funniest looking people in Africa. With 48 participating nations in the Annual Most Beautiful People of Africa Awards, held at the Gregor Theater in Bloemfontein SA, Kenya took the last position, dislodging Zambia and reclaiming the title it held in 2000.
It posted 7 points out of a possible 540 points. The top position was taken by Rwanda, followed by Cameroon and then Ethiopia as second runner up. The last three positions were Kenya at 48, Zambia at 47, then Gabon, at 46. The judges said they gave their points based on presentation, physical appearance, grooming, communication and other areas.
Coincidentally this came just a week after an article on Kenyans appeared in the Pretorian Bird. The article, in the entertainment section, claims Kenya has the funniest looking president on earth, and a VP with a strange looking head. It goes on to say that Kikuyu women and Luo men pose the most weird features.
“Women from the Kikuyu community have small legs, totally no figures, and a little exeggerated heads. They lack good behinds and those who have them look like inflated baloons.They are shaped like pyramids turned upside down.A big upper frame and an almost inviscible lower bit.
Luo men on the other side have distorted facial features..say big lips and huge noses or should we call them knobs. Kikuyu men are also unproportional, and most of them are stunted. They walk leaning foward. Plus they have long rusty teeth.”
“Those from Kisii Districts are small people, the average Kenyan man will stop growing at 5’2″…5’4″ tops. Kisii men have mango shaped heads, and bowed legs, a feature also common in in their Luhya counterparts.”
He goes on to describe Kaleos as “Funny little pitch black emaciated fellows, raking in millions from the track. However long they’ll remain in Europe, their features never improve”. “Nandis will have rounded foreheads, and thin, long arms”. While occupants at the coast province are said to have “Wide faces, almost like a widescreen telly, especially taitas,and durumas”
“Kenyans do not know the meaning of good grooming” The writer says. “The women hate their dark skins and opt for mercury bleachs which mess them up. The result: A scary (unpigmented)light face, black legs, and a black back”. As much as the Kenyan accent, of standard english is admired, “there’s too much mothertounge interference, common in Merus, Kisiis, and Kikuyus”.
While Luos were pointed out as to be suffering from chronic ‘braggitis’. The research funded by the institute of Primate Research at the University of St. Kenkley, also noted that Kenyan men are very marketable in the Kimberely area of SA and parts of the Guateng region. Reason, they are big, hopeless spenders.
Moral lesson, “Be careful dating a Kenyan online.” Accepting the Award Ambassador Kinyesi, complained of biased judging. Also present were dignitaries from all around Africa.
Most young girls in the Gusii region want to undergo the cut! It is not a question of whether the parents push them to do it or not but more of a myth.
Come December every year, thousands of girls are undergoing Female Genital mutilation willingly and with the support of their parents and relatives. The cut is done locally and there is no need of going to the hospitals in the nearby towns but instead unscrupulous clinics placed at shopping centres perform FGM at a cost of Ksh. 2,000 per person.
Itwas a quiet occasion at the Bavaria Motors offices on Mombasa Road inNairobi as the latest sports utility vehicle in the market wasunveiled; the BMW X3. Kenya was chosen as one of the first markets inthe world to unveil the sports utility vehicle.Thehot new car has three point seat belts, front and side air bags,adaptive brake lights and daytime driving lights as standard. It\’saverage fuel consumption conforms to the European Unio…
Boss: Where is my work?
Employee: Boss, ‘sitima setu sirigongwa na gari!’
When you are rated as an under performer in the office smells trouble. At any moment you may be receiving your last check or according to your contract, go home without pay. I heard that the doctors are going on strike again. Now, the teachers have munched their share already but the doctors are smelling a rat within the circles of government over their demands…I rate them under performers!
Lets get back to individual under performers in different career fields. Who is an underperformer? Well, every career has its expectations at the end of the day. For instance as a writer, I look forward to keep a steady source of articles or news stories to my editor every minute and maintain creativity in every piece. A photographer not only has to bring in pictures to the news room but also has to produce compelling pictures that are ‘news worth’.
In your work place, in most cases duties are automatic and each member of staff has to report to his or her position and deliver to their full potential. In other work places, the supervisor or senior member has the mandate to assign each and every member in their cluster a task to play during that particular day and keeps checking after a few hours to see the progress or demand results at the end of the day.
As much as you think you are delivering, someone else somewhere thinks you are a jerk, lazy and stupid and wonders how you even got yourself hired in the first place! Forget the papers you have here, its what you got to offer at the end of the day. Lucky you if your office has a mechanism through which they measure quality and performance of their employees because it sets a clear target that is achievable for every one in that department.
One thing I can attest to, many managers, seniors or directors to whom an employee directly reports, never appreciate work done no matter how hard or perfect they work. An employee might have put his or her best in the task and feels good about it but at the end of the day the boss thinks they have done a shoddy job. I believe they just do not want to impress their juniors by accepting the fact that their work is good. Some employers feel that if they push and toss their juniors, they will be able to be assured of the best and nothing but the best work.
It is true that there are weak employees and surely their performance is wanting and they need to be awaken by verbal and several warning letters to have them open their eyes. If the employee is full of excuses in defensive as to why they did not do or complete a particular task assigned. Unless there is a good reason beyond doubt that made him or her to fail completing his work, he should be reprimanded and eventually fired if they do not wake up.
You should love what you do and enjoy every part of the work assigned for the day or else you will be underrated. For your career to grow, find something you are good at and make a niche with it. Let the office/department have a reason to have you with them and be the kind of a geek the office cannot do without. That way, your boss will smile with you and say hi every morning he passes your desk. If you do not enjoy your work, quit, forget the money!